an ode to dolly alderton
perhaps the most personable 30something out there
Floor Time
/flôr tīm/
noun
the 15-60 minute time period spent laying on the floor in the middle of the work day, typically as a relief from the soul-sucking reality of corporate America.
This week marks one month of being 30. Naturally, I’ve been feeling sentimental about it1. I’ve been contemplating whether or not this new decade feels different, if there are new things I should be looking forward to, and what I should be planning for.
Admittedly, though I have spent ample time thinking about the above, I’ve been coming up short with answers. Aren’t I supposed to know more by now? This is the main question that plagues me during my daily floor time.
Lately, I’ve noticed a change in the kinds of conversations I have with my friends (or perhaps it’s more accurate to think about it as a progression of conversation?). We have all these questions: Should we be dating more, should we be moving in together, should we be talking about marriage, should we be freezing our eggs, and on and on. Topics that once felt so far from reality have become the forefront of conversation. Kids? What am I, a teen mom?!
Meanwhile, I recently read Dolly Alderton’s new book, Good Material. It’s a book about heartbreak, but specifically, heartbreak that happens in your 30s—when society tells you you’re of marrying and procreating age. Is the pressure to do what your friends are doing a good reason to do it? If you don’t follow the timeline your friends are on, will you be left behind—and if so, can you be ok with that? I love this quote she gave in an interview with the New York Times, “I think particularly in the mid-30s, both sides are aware of the divide between people with young children and people without young children. We’re so aware of not burdening each other with each other’s lifestyles.” (It also reminds me of this great piece last year from The Cut that spurred weeks of discussions in my circle, if you want a little extra credit reading :)
Earlier this week, my friend, Jen, and I talked about all things adulting over dinner at the new Bar Madonna. We’re at the age where we’re attending weddings and all the events that come with them (bachelorette, bridal shower, etc). She’s also a Dolly fan, and I noticed we referenced her writing a lot in this conversation. We talked about how the blueprint when you hit 30 is pretty much gone, yet there are people we encounter who don’t get that. It’s human nature to want people to see the world as you do, but inherent in that desire is discomfort for people straying from what you believe is the path. Who said that was the “right,” or “only” path? You may want kids by the time you’re 30, but you have to accept that some people don’t want kids at all and that’s their prerogative.2 This is something Dolly Alderton clearly understands in spades, as the sentiment is prevalent in both her books I’ve read.
Sometime last year I read Dolly’s memoir, Everything I Know About Love. It’s one of those books that was so hyped I figured it couldn’t possibly live up to expectations. But I was happily proven wrong—I read a memoir by a very funny, eloquent, and fiercely insightful woman. She gets it. Though the book touches on all kinds of love—romantic, and familial—at the heart of it is the true love story between her and her best friend. There’s a quote that I think about regularly: “Nearly everything I know about love, I’ve learnt from my long-term friendships with women.” (Even if you’re a man, I’m sure you can relate to this quote).
I guess I just picked up her books at the right time. They feel like companions on this journey into my 30s. They are reminders that it’s ok not to have it all figured out yet, as long as you continue to cultivate strong relationships with yourself and the most important people in your life. At the end of the day, I think that’s all life is.
Something I Thought of in the Shower
During my final crit for my Brand Design course at Pratt, my professor called me a “clever person” and I think it might be my favorite compliment of all time.
Something Pretty
I’m confused about the weather lately, but on Tuesday we got blessed with an 85-degree day and my friends were in town so I joined them for a little weekday misbehavin’ :)
Something To Laugh About
Here are this week’s gems:
This is definitively THE GOAT explanation of the Kendrick / Drake beef.
I can’t stop looking for a man in finance. Trust fund. 6’5”. Blue eyes. Like this.
Oop, this is Klaus.
Extremely niche content you have to be probably aged 25-30 to get. I’m just so happy there are still people out there that get this.
This year I’ve been paying a lot closer attention to trends and what social media managers are doing to stay relevant. This is an excellent example of smart social—also see: Marc Jacobs TikTok.
Something for Clarice
Hey! This newsletter is free and I intend to keep it that way. That said, if you love it and want to show your appreciation, buy me a coffee :)
By the way…I’m reading this.
I started The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley yesterday! Very happy to be returning to my sci-fi / fantasy era and ngl have very high expectations for this read after rave reviews from both Ruby and Lizzie (two publishing girlies :)
And I’m watching this.
I loved Dead Boy Detectives (although two episodes in particular were difficult to watch—ep 3 and ep 7). I may try Lockwood & Co or Doom Patrol, where the Dead Boy Detectives spins off from, I think?? Still trying to understand the universe. But in the meantime, I’ve started the new season of Hacks and damn, I missed these ladies.
One more thing!
Klaus is officially a ~*paid influencer*~3 with his very first project for BarkBox, featuring their special edition, once-a-year Harry Potter box release—yes, this was absolutely the perfect partnership for us. Watch the video and use this to get a bonus toy in every box you receive for the next 6 months!
Have a lovely Friday! I’m really looking forward to this weekend—I get to celebrate my favorite human turning 30!! And finally, he will stop teasing me about my back pain and early Saturday sleep times because he will also be old. HA!
Til’ next time, besties. Your friend,
Clarice
is this an Aries trait or just a Clarice-ism—someone who knows about star signs lmk
I’m just using kids as a recurring example in this newsletter but don’t read into this
finally the freeloader gonna pay some rent around here