Are you selective or tolerant?
Floor Time
/flôr tīm/
noun
the 15-60 minute time period spent laying on the floor in the middle of the work day, typically as a relief from the soul-sucking reality of corporate America.
I mentioned this last week, but Klaus and I have started private dog training! He graduated summa cum laude in puppy one AND two back in 2020, but after three years, we’re back on the organized training schedule because he has ~*anxiety*~, fears ~*slamming doors*~, and has decidedly determined that certain dogs on the street are his nemesis.
I did drag my feet on training because a) it’s an investment (in time, mental energy, physical training, and money) and b) I didn’t realize that a lot of his quirks were actually signs of anxiety—because I’m no expert!! In consulting with friends (and most importantly, fellow dog mom Lauren), it became clear that for Klaus to live the best life possible and to help him manage his triggers, we’d need to call in the experts.
So far we’ve only had one session, during which we talked about his behavior and most important areas for improvement. In a 90-minute session, our trainer, Corinne, answered a lot of my questions, crammed a ton of information about dog behavior and body language into my brain (including the infographic above— an adorable visual but also alarming in that Klaus embodies…all of these) and taught me some management tools to use when Klaus starts to be reactive. One of my favorite bits about the session was her explaining that most dogs of Klaus’ age (3) are “selective or tolerant.”
Just like children, puppies typically like all other puppies—they’re learning socialization and they interact with anyone and everyone. As they get older / reach fully developed age (ages 2-4), the majority of dogs become selective or tolerant, meaning that they have a few dogs they really like and get along with, and with others they are tolerant—they can coexist and be civil, but they aren’t necessarily making friendship collars for one another.
^Corinne was saying that 10% of adult dogs live in the two extremes, Dog Social and Dog Aggressive. 40% are Dog Tolerant and 40% are Dog Selective—these are the majority of adult dogs.
Because mercury has been in retrograde and I’ve just been malfunctioning mentally and physically all of September (live, laugh, lobotomy!), of course when I learned this dog fact, I immediately was like—oh my gosh it’s just like humans. We are dogs. They are us.
You’ve heard it before, when you get older your relationships change. Some friends drift apart, others reconnect, and your inner circle may tighten because you become more selective of the company you keep. And that’s actually so natural. In fact, to me it indicates a level of deeper understanding of yourself and what interactions fill your cup. In the past few years, I’ve had a couple of relationships fizzle. I’ve undergone (am undergoing?) all the levels of grief with this realization—it’s not easy to accept that nothing lasts forever. I think I’ve cried over these changing relationships more than I have over any boy I’ve ever liked because those relationships were meant to have less uncertainty—I didn’t think they wouldn’t last forever. And yet when I look at my life without them, I still see other people who will run to the grocery store for me when I’m sick. I see friends who will willingly dogsit Klaus when I need a vacation. I see people who can stand to be around me when I’m sitting under a dark storm cloud (aka me for the past few weeks)—they grab an umbrella and sit in silence beside me. Making friends as an adult is hard, and perhaps keeping friends as an adult may be even harder, but if you select the right ones, the rest of your life can totally just be one very long and awesome playdate.
All this to say: Klaus is selective, and so far not tolerant enough, but we’re working on it!!!
Something I Thought of in the Shower
This article. Again, selective or tolerant theme!! Love when Floor Time has ~*continuity*~
Something Pretty
Fall is COMING and obviously, I kicked off our first chilly day with one of my top 5 favorite films of all time.
Something To Laugh About
I have SO many gems to share with you this week. Here you go:
Omg we really are all the same person, huh? Especially when it comes to this silliness.
This is real, this is me. Surface clean, people!!
Another fun millennial-y content that reminds me every day that a) I am unoriginal and b) I am potentially undiagnosed neurodivergent. Thanks for this—Limewire was elite.
Some things were meant to withstand the test of time, and this is one of those things.
Oop this is me.
Hello, are these people accepting new friends in the group? I would like to apply to be a part of this.
The fact that I do this every day with Klaus.
“Nemo Egg” was a staple in my college paper writing process, it remains a WORK OF ART. See: this.
If you’re wondering, I am still tackling ToG but it is going glacially. If I can pull myself out of Heir of Fire, you will indeed hear about this.
The girls that get it…This also applies to anything you ever buy off the rack.
Something for Clarice
Hey! This newsletter is free and I intend to keep it that way. That said, if you love it and want to show your appreciation, buy me a coffee :)
Hope you all have a great weekend! I know nothing about astrology but my friends Nadya and Val tell me mercury is out of retrograde and it’s now a Virgo moon which apparently means “a demanding and organized emotional nature emerges. Today you and everyone around you will likely be feeling an instinct for purification and flawlessness. You might encounter an extraordinary need to be right.” Kinda just the vibe for me always, but go off, stars.
Til’ next time, pups. Your friend,
Clarice
By the way…I’m reading this.
I DEVOURED The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches by Sangu Mandanna. While I wish that Libby had it ready for me a month later than predicted (people read it fast, understandably so), it did get me in a witchy fall mood which I am always here for! I love reading fantasy that is cozy, inclusive, and features a curmudgeonly love interest who is also a LIBRARIAN *swoon*. It gives off big House in the Cerulean Sea energy (which Floor Time readers will be reminded was my favorite read of 2022). Definitely add this to your fall reading list.
selective hive rise up ✊🏼