"doing nothing" and yap
a case for unstructuring your time
Floor Time
/flôr tīm/
noun
the 15-60 minute time period spent laying on the floor in the middle of the work day, typically as a relief from the soul-sucking reality of corporate America.
On a sunny Saturday in 2016, my best friend and roommate Hannah and I were sitting at the breakfast table discussing our plans for the day. My day was wide open, devoid of any set plans. Hannah shared she had to run some errands, but then was down to just hang. Joking, she said, “you’re welcome to come vacuum my car with me.” To her slight surprise, I responded with an emphatic “sure!”, and off we went.
We pulled up to the station and there was this massive vacuum, taking coin payment only—$1 for 5 minutes. Hannah looked at me and said, “ok so here’s the deal, I only have $2 worth of coins. Which means, we’re going to have to be strategic about this.” I laughed and put my game face on. We strategized to start with the trunk and move our way forward, going from left to right. Hannah was the vacuum controller and I was the “move shit out of the way” assistant. She put the coins in, and we got to it. Between fits of giggles and encouraging “faster!!”s akin to those you’d get from a varsity coach while doing sprints, we spent the next 10 minutes cleaning Hannah’s car, leaving it crumbless. It was so ridiculously fun and this many years later I still think of that day: A planless Saturday doing “nothing” with my best friend.
Recently this article has been circulating about how doing nothing with your favorite people is really great for you. So often in modern life, it feels like you have to propose a Thing To Do in order to find quality time with people. In my own experience, I’ve always found that the most seemingly banal hangs are the ones that allow us to connect more deeply and truly appreciate each other’s company. The article says that unstructured time with others can reduce feelings of loneliness (ICYMI, we’ve had a loneliness epidemic even before The Pandemic), lower stress, and help build more trusting and satisfying relationships.
This week, Eli and I went to Dimes Square’s newest restaurant, Sunn’s. We overordered, so we overate, and couldn’t do much after but go home and digest. We’ve had packed weeks, so our first order of business was setting a timer and doing an hour of work to catch up / get ahead. Finally, we shut our laptops and opened a bottle of wine. And I don’t know how we got on this topic, but we started talking personal finance and banking. We both saw this TikTok talking about how to approach building your credit. What ensued was a two hour deep dive on banking, APR, and credit building that involved phoning-a-friend and a lot of math. The topic also cracked open a conversation about our finances where we shared our wins, worries, and woes authentically. After that, we moved to playing around with a camera I inherited from my mom. We took turns tinkering until we finally got the settings right—and here are the fun results of our testing:
All this to say, “doing nothing” with your people is so important and sometimes the most memorable, because these days it might be considered the more unexpected way to gather. Eli and I were in fits of giggles as we were doing our ridiculous calculations to get to the bottom of how interest is calculated, and laughing harder when we got a confusing soluion and accepted it’s just the blind leading the blind. Doing nothing might be the most something you can do—especially against the backdrop of a world on fire (literally and figuratively). And I’m not saying I’m exemplary at this skill. Like any other person, I have social anxiety and often sit with the questions “does everyone hate me?” and “Are you mad at me?” and won’t reach out to friends out of fear. (Or is it self preservation?) But this week was a beautiful reminder of the importance of carving out time for unstructured hangs, and the immense benefits that come with it.
Something I Thought of in the Shower
Public enemy number one is that TikToker who made a video calling attention to how many tortillas we eat when we eat tortilla chips.
Something To Laugh About
RIP TikTok. Some of my favorite gems paying ode to our fallen soldier:
I can’t stop singing this Chinese anthem.
This for my bicoastal friends.
This is me scrolling this whole week. RIP bestie.
Something for Clarice
Hey! This newsletter is free and I intend to keep it that way. That said, if you love it and want to show your appreciation, buy me a coffee :)
Something Pretty
This colorful spread from our dinner at Sunn’s earlier this week. The presentation was so elegant and SO yummy. The spicy cucumber banchan altered my brain chemistry.
By the way…I’m reading this.
Every book I had on hold on Libby became available at the same time so I plan to be a reading machine the next couple weeks. I have Jon M. Chu’s Viewfinder ready, as well as James by Percival Everett. Honestly I’m not sure which one I want to tackle first but planning to dive in this long weekend.
And I’m watching this.
Season 2 of Severance—aren’t we all? “SHE’S ALIVE!!!!!!!”
Happy long weekend doing nothing with your favorite people. May you opt to do that instead of watching that thing that’s happening in DC on Monday.
‘Til next time, outties. Your friend,
Clarice
Love this reminder!!