^Mia and the maids look at Helen like she’s just said something crazy and as I got older I realized that Helen was the smartest person in the room all along. These are words to live by people!!!
Floor Time
/flôr tīm/
noun
the 15-60 minute time period spent laying on the floor in the middle of the work day, typically as a relief from the soul-sucking reality of corporate America.
A couple weeks ago my childhood best friend, Mari, got engaged *cue fanfare!!!*. She and her partner have been together for a decade now, so we’re1 thrilled, they’re over the moon, and their engagement was perfect etc. We had a lengthy catchup this week so I could hear all the deets about the proposal and the surprise Maui trip her partner planned down to the minute. It was gorge. It was so them.
As we continued our catch-up, we joked about the child-bride-ness of it all2. This beautiful friend I’ve known since before puberty is engaged, planning a wedding for next year, going back to school to get a doctorate(!!), and starting to think about family planning. None of this is unusual of course, many people our age are starting to make these moves—but I guess when you’re childhood friends, you hit these major milestones in your adult life together and think, “are we old enough for this?”, “who’s giving us permish to do this?”, and “weren’t we just dressing up for the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows premiere like last week?”3
The answers are sure, us, and obviously. Somehow, somewhere, we became real adults—so much so that one of us has found a goodest-egg-of-a-life-partner to marry. But it’s not like it just happened. Our phone call made me noodle all week on the essential growth you have to endure to become someone that can even think about building a life with someone else.
Not all of us grow up having the tools to express how we feel. Either I was not taught them or I didn’t want to use them—and no one’s at fault for that. I wasn’t as open as I am now probably from a mixture of cultural norms, my personality, literal age, and the sorts of relationships I chose to invest in. Funny enough, Mari was one of the people who first got me to talk about anything feelings-y or deep. She loves to ask these huge existential, thought-provoking questions that I found so irritating growing up but would entertain because I love her. We giggled about this during our call because her partner says the same thing.4 But look where those pushy little conversations got me! It’s required years of therapy and most importantly, practice, to be able to have the kind of productive conversations5 I have today. And even though I’d usually rather eat my own foot than have to tell my partner or any friend what I’m feeling, when I’m upset, or what I need, I have noticed that the foot-eating option has lesser pull every time I force myself to talk. Perhaps that’s really what growth is. Yeah. Let’s go with it. If anyone asks what Floor Time was about this week, tell them it was full of hot takes like: Why Having Feelings is Better than Eating Your Own Foot.
Anyway.
If you’re someone who has found yourself in a secure relationship of any sort, yay you. And I mean this in the broadest form of “relationship” because as I’ve preached in past Floor Times, I do not believe romantic partnerships are the ultimate goal. Having strong familial relationships and friendships are just as important (if not more—but debate me later). The true celebration is having done the personal work to be someone who can successfully foster unbreakable bonds. Ugh. Not to be a narcissist, but I really hope my therapist reads this. She’d be so proud of all the *shudders* emotions I’m sharing.
All this rambling just to ultimately say, congrats Mari and Connor! #Mawwiage.
Something Pretty
I posted so much footage of this on Instagram, but I went camping last weekend (and it was Klaus’ first time—Klaus, who is now THREE). We had a splendid time hiking, swimming in the pond, and playing lots of lawn games (spike ball being Klaus’ fave). When we went canoeing, Klaus enjoyed himself so much that he fully yeeted himself out of the boat with no prior notice, simultaneously giving me a heart attack and making me laugh so hard I cried. The picture below is the aftermath of him pondering the consequences of his actions.
Something To Laugh About
The internet was weird this week but here are some gems:
I commented on this sign a couple weeks ago, and this is just perfect.
The way in which I literally did this this week.
Sorry, I’m not seeing the issue with this?
If ya’ll don’t hit the same level of comedic genius that is this when I—god forbid—ever need medical attention in this way, I don’t want it.
Agh, girl dads just warm my heart!! This is too wholesome.
And finally, how we doin’ New York? Are you feeling this? Are you dying like me?
Happy Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) release day to all who celebrate. But not John Mayer. Literally never John Mayer.
Til’ next time, Swifties. Your friend,
Clarice
By the way…I’m reading this.
Actually still making my way through The Idiot but Elif Batuman (was not a strong reading week for me) but I’m also starting my reread of Red, White, & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston, in light of the killer trailer for the film adaptation that just dropped feat. my celeb crush Taylor Zakhar Perez. I devoured this book, perhaps too quickly, the first time around, so I gotta refresh some key plot points for myself.
The collective “we.” Applause!!!
If you don’t get the reference, dear god pls join us here in the zeitgeist.
To no one’s surprise, we did this. I DIY’ed a golden snitch costume the day of and sewed handmade felt letters reading, “I open at the close,” while Mari chased me around the theatre as Harry. We were definitely cool and not bullied at all.
I’m not joking in the early years of our friendship (again, this is when we were pre-pubescent), she would ask me things like, “what is a significant life event that has shaped your character and how?” It would not surprise you to learn that she is now an educator.
I learned during our call that Mari’s fiance refers to fights as “productive conversations” which is so matüré and I too will be referring to all future “fights” as that. Because that is really what they are?? Or should be.